All Aboard The Sleep Coach

I’ve finally read a sleep book I found really helpful - Baby S.T.E.P.S. To Better Sleep by Nicole Johnson. What I like about it is that it outlines all the different sleep training methods, from the most gentle to full on cry it out, and acknowledges that different strategies are appropriate for different families and different temperament babies. It then shows you how to break the big problem down into small issues to tackle a step at a time and gives practical ideas about how to deal with them. She is honest that some crying is inevitable because the baby will be frustrated but that they can be gently coached through it. Buying the book gives access to online resources including a workbook to fill in and make a plan, so here goes…

Background: B has never recovered from the 4 month sleep regression and is now nearly 8 months. I have always fed him to sleep at bedtime. He wakes lots of times in the night (sometimes every hour) and feeds back to sleep. We are both exhausted. He will not take a dummy or bottle. To make life easy on myself I am co-sleeping but this is just perpetuating the problem. He has always fought naps and will only nap for 30 minutes, although we have worked to get a consistent 3 naps schedule established by rocking him in the pushchair. He is a spirited, intense little soul who gets easily frustrated and lets us know when things are not exactly to his liking. Gentle coaching methods are right for our family.

Issues: B has a strong feed to sleep association at night and a movement association in the day. He finds it very difficult to resettle himself to sleep so naps are only one sleep cycle and he needs me in the night. We feel it is becoming time for him to sleep in his own room and, most importantly, he needs longer stretches of sleep in order to feel refreshed.

Short Term Goal:

1. To fall asleep calmly and peacefully in his cot at night.

Medium Term Goals:

2. To resettle himself so he can sleep for longer stretches.
3. To fall asleep calmly and peacefully in his cot for naps.
4. To reduce night feeds to 2.

Long Term Goals:

5. To increase naps to at least an hour.
6. To reduce night feeds to 1.

Strategy: substitution of cuddling / stroking back for feeding at night; progressive fading of rocking pram for naps; hands-on approach to settle in cot. Continue to use his Cuski lovey and white noise app as they have been helping naps.

After my routine I will lay my baby down awake and then: read a bedtime story and kiss him goodnight.

If/ when he cries I will: rub his back and repeat ‘time to relax and sleep’ and ‘you can do it baby.’

If he is hysterical I will: pick him up, cuddle and rock him until he is calm again.

If this process goes on longer than 20 minutes I will: take a 5 minute break and try again, maybe asking my husband to take over.

First Phase

Nights 1 - 3: I am going to try to keep him awake for his final feed and work on placing him drowsy but awake in his cot in his room. I will introduce a story and cuddles after the feed and will stroke his back to calm him as he falls asleep. Aim to be asleep by 7.

Nights 4 - 7: use stroking and reassuring to resettle, instead of feeding, if before 10.

Days 1 - 3: continue to use the pushchair to rock him to sleep for naps.

Days 4 - 7: rock the pushchair for naps but more gently.

Second Phase

Nights 8 - 14: use stroking and reassuring to resettle, instead of feeding, if there has been less than 3 hours since the last feed.

Days 8 - 14: use story, rocking and stroking to settle in cot for first nap. Use pushchair for lunch and afternoon nap but rock as little as needed.

Third Phase

Nights 15 -21: use stroking and reassuring to resettle, instead of feeding, if there has been less than 4 hours since the last feed.

Days 15 - 21: use story, rocking and stroking to settle in cot for all naps. Introduce nap hour at lunch time.

A very realistic aspect of the book is the fact she stresses that the plan should be adapted as you go, depending on what is working and how the baby is adapting. So we’ll see! We’d both feel so much better after longer stretches of sleep so I will keep this goal in mind when it gets tough and I feel like a bitch for making him cry! I’m going to need patience and consistency but I’m ready. Wish me luck!