Is He Good?

Is he good?

It’s the first thing lots of people ask, especially older ladies, and it drives me nuts.

Because what they really mean is - does he sleep through the night? And the implication is therefore that, because he is nowhere near sleeping through the night, or even the evening most days, he is in some way bad. He’s a baby! He acts on primal instincts to be warm, fed and safe. And despite what has been claimed many times now, he is not capable of being manipulative, cunning, sneaky, wrapping me round his finger, ruling the roost, being the boss, giving me the runaround, calling the shots or any other dumb expression that suggests he has some kind of masterplan to ruin my life.

So when I get asked if he’s good I don’t bother answering the question that’s lurking between the lines. I don’t mention that he wakes, on average, every 2 hours. Sometimes more often. Or that he’s never made it past 2 a.m. in his own cot. Or that when he’s poorly or teething he likes to sleep on top of me. Or that he’d keep a nipple in his mouth all night long if I let him. I know the reaction that would get and I don’t want their mixture of pity, horror and judgement.

So instead I say he’s amazing! And I bore them with tales of all the clever and funny things he does. I tell them how he wiggles to music he likes, squeals with joy when he sees cats and dogs, studies books and turns the pages by himself, stacks blocks, pulls a crazy face to make us laugh. I describe him as content, sociable, inquisitive, energetic, bright and loving, which is a hell of a lot better than good!