The first year of being a mum felt like the shortest and longest year of my life. I think it felt so long because I was awake for most of it. But it also flies by and every different stage is over just as it becomes manageable. Each stage brings its own challenges and rewards. They are gone before you know it so it's important to soak up every moment but also remember ‘this too shall pass!’
0 - 2 months: wow, this first bit is crazy! High on hormones, drunk on love, the settling in days are a special time. Everyone wants to visit, and they make their own tea, so you feel very loved and important. The baby mostly sleeps (on you) and your only real job is to deal with the body fluids erupting from you and your small person. Your baby is the most beautiful thing in the world (although when you look back at photos you’ll be surprised by its wrinkly old-personness) and you can spend hours just sitting looking at it, which is lucky because your ruined body isn't capable of much more. Hopefully you’ll have an amazing partner to step up and take care of you, turning a blind eye to the grosser aspects. The smallest things feel like massive victories so there is lots of back-patting when you leave the house within an hour, bath the baby without mishap and change a dirty nappy with no tears. Breastfeeding can be difficult at the start but at least you’ll be able to sit down and watch a lot of crap tv.
3 - 5 months: this is the bit I found hardest. I thought I’d have it sorted by this point, but it got harder and I felt like a failure for finding it so tough. The killer is that babies stop sleeping around this age, the happy hormones wear off and sleep deprivation makes you pretty unhinged, which makes everything else seems worse. People still visit but they don’t make their own tea anymore. They might even expect you to do normal functioning human things like host Christmas. They will also tell you 101 ways to make your baby sleep and none will work. Your baby will often seem furious with you, perhaps triggered by the car seat, the pram, being tired, milk being too fast, milk being too slow, milk not being immediately available, the moon, Brexit and other things you will not be able to figure out and therefore can’t change. If reflux is going to be an issue it will be in full force by now, resulting in more fury. Luckily there is some pay back. Baby smiles will melt your heart and a chuckle is an antidote to all the rage. Meeting other mums for coffee and cake, and to check your baby isn’t an angry weirdo, will keep you sane. Breastfeeding was still hard for me but I got by with a lot of support from my local feeding group and the awesomeness of social media.
6 - 8 months: phew! This was a lovely age for us. No one wanted to visit anymore so I stopped stressing about housework. We could get out and about pretty efficiently and really enjoyed all our classes. Sitting up changes everything for babies - they can play, watch everything that’s going on and not sick up milk. Anything is a great toy so empty cardboard boxes and kitchen utensils keep them busy for hours (as long as you don’t try to leave the room). Introducing solids was lots of fun with my greedy little munchkin and as long as we brought plenty of snacks, sitting at a pub table became his favourite activity. This was lucky as we really needed to feel like we had some of our normal life back and getting out and socialising saved our sanity. Sleep was still pretty rubbish but he felt robust enough to move out of the sidecar cot and into my bed which made it pretty manageable. Breastfeeding was now so easy I could literally do it in my sleep and often woke up to find B helping himself.
9 - 11 months: chaos! Just when it feels like you’ve got it all pretty sorted, your baby will get on the move and all hell will break lose. Nothing is safe and you realise your house and garden are actually a death trap. You’ll spend your days chasing after your baby who seems to have morphed into a reckless chimp-puppy hybrid, intent on pulling things over and eating stones. They will also do super-adorable things like clap, point, wave, sign and say first words. Your baby now seems like an actual small person, although will still have total baby moments of snuggling into you when the world they are exploring becomes a bit scary or exhausting. If you’re lucky they will sleep through the night. We are not lucky. But tired is the new normal and I've stopped worrying about it. Their personality is really starting to shine and they will make you laugh and make you proud every day.
And before you know it, a year has gone by! You’ll feel five years older, look ten years older and look back on your previous life with rose-tinted nostalgia. But you can’t imagine life without your little one and you can’t wait to see what they’ll do next.
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