What I Learned From My Sleep Consultant

Last night, 7 nights after we began the plan devised by our sleep consultant and 2 days before he turned 15 months, Baby B finally slept through the night!!!

What Would Cave Baby Think?

If you’ve read my post What Would Cave Baby Do? you’ll know that I reconciled myself to Baby B’s sometimes draining behaviour by thinking about the evolutionary drive behind it. I realised my little survivor just needed to be close to feel safe and a happy time of babywearing and co-sleeping followed.

Autumn Art

Playing outside means watching the seasons change. I usually hate autumn but Baby B is having such a lovely time discovering nature that I’ve fallen in love with it too.

Dear New Mummy,

First - WOW! You are amazing. You probably don’t feel it. You’re probably sore, exhausted, flabby and more than a little overwhelmed. That’s ok. You just grew a person. Inside you. With tiny, perfect fingernails and everything. Whatever method he or she used to get out it’s been uncomfortable, unpleasant and unnerving, but you’ve done it. You have enabled a brand new person to join the world. Wow! It’s been a crazy experience, and it’s about to get crazier, so take some time to rest, recover and let it all sink in.

Take One Big Blue Bowl...

This big blue bowl has been the perfect container for loads of different messy and sensory play sessions. It kind of keeps the mess contained and baby B liked sitting in it from about 6 to 9 months and loves climbing out of it.

There are so many things in the kitchen that make brilliant exploratory play opportunities for babies and most of it is really cheap. The bowl was quite expensive but we use it as a paddling pool and ball pool too so is worth it. It's noce to add music and the buuble machine for even more sensory fun.

Ages and Stages in the First Year

The first year of being a mum felt like the shortest and longest year of my life. I think it felt so long because I was awake for most of it. But it also flies by and every different stage is over just as it becomes manageable. Each stage brings its own challenges and rewards. They are gone before you know it so it's important to soak up every moment but also remember ‘this too shall pass!’

Easiest Art Project Ever

If your little one is ready to experiment with mark making, but you can't face 10 minutes of setting up plus 30 minutes of clearing up just for 5 minutes of fun, cheat and paint with water!

Hot and Not at 10 Months

Baby B has grown so much between 7 and 10 months. Being mobile has opened up a whole new world for him and he is very enthusiastic about discovering it. Pretty much everything makes him happy, so the ‘not’ list has shrunk and the ‘hot’ list has grown.

What’s Hot and Not According to Baby B, aged 10 and Half Months

Surviving a New Baby

Having a baby isn’t a steep learning curve, it’s a death slide into the unknown. You think you’ve got it all sorted, then you bring your miniature person home and realise you know NOTHING. But through trial and error you start to figure out what works for your little one and, like a death slide, things even out. You feel like you know what you’re doing, start to enjoy it and even (secretly and smugly) wonder if you might actually be good at it. Then your baby grows into a new phase, everything changes, and you plummet into confusion again. We’re currently figuring out how to manage a mobile baby, but before I forget all the stuff I learned about keeping a baby-baby happy I want to share it here.

Adventures in Weaning: Recipe Ideas

Baby B is thoroughly enjoying his adventures in weaning and gobbles up everything we give him. He’ll happily be spoon fed but really enjoys getting his hands dirty and feeding himself. At the moment he’s experimenting with squeezing everything. Especially cherry tomatoes.

So the challenge for me is to keep finding, new , interesting and healthy things to give him. We tend to do a BLW lunch where B and I sit in the garden and eat the same, and dinner tends to be something mainly spoon fed from a stash of batch cooked meals in the freezer. Worried it was getting a bit samey, I asked around for recipe ideas and here is our collection.

Car Survival Kit

We must have some kind of masochistic tendency because we’ve just taken our energetic, car-hating 9 month old to the Lizard on holiday. That is literally as far as you can drive before you fall off the bottom of the country. And we did it on bank holiday weekend. Knowing it was going to be utterly horrific and he would get bored and shouty before we got the bottom of our road, I put together a car survival kit. It does rely on me being the back with him so won’t work for everyone but I hope these ideas help some stressed parents have a better journey with their small person.

Eating My Words

Before I became a parent I said a lot of stupid things. I was naive, clueless and idealistic. Now I am boobs-deep in motherhood there are some things I would like to retract.

Is He Good?

Is he good?

It’s the first thing lots of people ask, especially older ladies, and it drives me nuts.

The Clothes Swap-Over

Is it just me being soppy or does anyone else find the 3-monthly clothes swap-over really emotional?

A Touchy Subject

I am a pretty tactile person; I hug my friends and family; I have no problem with a PDA; I love nothing more than a snuggle with my baby B. BUT…! He has become super-duper-tactile and it is driving me CRAZY.

What Would Cave Baby Do?

Lots of the ‘advice’ about caring for a new baby seems to be aimed at moulding and shaping them to fit the constraints and pressures of our modern lifestyles. But it shouldn’t be a surprise that our babies put up such a fight. They are hardwired with instincts and reflexes suited to a much simpler time. When humans evolved, and survival of the fittest determined which traits and behaviours should be passed on, life was very different. New mothers were never alone. There were plenty of loving arms to hold and soothe, probably boobs to feed from. There was no need to be up in time for a baby group, dressed before the health visitor arrived or to make cups of tea for the in laws. There were dangers and the elements to battle. There were no cots, prams or car seats. Life was different.

All Aboard The Sleep Coach

I’ve finally read a sleep book I found really helpful - Baby S.T.E.P.S. To Better Sleep by Nicole Johnson. What I like about it is that it outlines all the different sleep training methods, from the most gentle to full on cry it out, and acknowledges that different strategies are appropriate for different families and different temperament babies. It then shows you how to break the big problem down into small issues to tackle a step at a time and gives practical ideas about how to deal with them. She is honest that some crying is inevitable because the baby will be frustrated but that they can be gently coached through it. Buying the book gives access to online resources including a workbook to fill in and make a plan, so here goes…

Hot and Not

What's Hot and What's Not According to Baby B, Aged 7 and a Half Months

The Mum Network

Today I received the most wonderful WhatsApp message. It simply said “Going for a buggy walk, want to join us?” But it actually said so much more than that. It also said I too have a baby that will only sleep while moving and know how lonely those daily treks can be. It said I know we thought maternity leave would be non-stop cake dates but I too am broke, bored and going a bit bit-shit crazy. It said I’ve felt how you feel and know you’ll feel better after some fresh air. It said I’m also wearing avocado-stained jeans and a wooly hat to hide my unwashed hair - we’ll pretend it’s a trend. It said I won’t judge you, I don’t pity you, I get you and I’m with you. You don't have to explain but we can talk it all through.

What to Pack in your Hospital Bag

I’ve had lots of help for this post from my lovely yummy mummies as we all found different things valuable while we were in having our babies. I guess some of it depends on where you have the baby and the type of birth you have but, as we all learned, you can’t actually plan that so it’s good to be prepared for anything.

So these are the things we recommend packing in your hospital bag…

Surviving Breastfeeding a Newborn

I don’t think anyone warned me, or if they did I didn't listen, how time-consuming breastfeeding a newborn is. It pretty much takes over your life at first and the cluster feeds can be epic. The key to surviving it, and getting breastfeeding off to a positive start, is to accept this and make it as comfortable as possible.

So here are my tips for surviving those first few months…

Easy Treasure Boxes

If you search for treasure baskets or heuristic play on Pinterest they will all be arranged in gorgeous wicker creations. I've put mine in empty laundry capsule boxes - much more practical and free!

Heuristic is just a fancy word for discovering through play. It's similar to sensory play - allowing your baby to find out about textures, colour, patterns, weight and other properties or normal, every day items. That makes it easy to put together a heuristic treasure box for your baby: a quick scout around the house and the pound shop and you'll have enough to keep them busy for hours.

To Mummies Everywhere

To mummies everywhere...

Your hair may be unwashed. Your teeth might be unbrushed. The nail varnish on your toes is definitely chipped. If you're really unlucky, your boobs will be leaking on your top.

You probably have sick on your shoulder. You certainly have food on you somewhere. And who knows what that stain on your jeans is.

Your tummy is inevitably soft, maybe even scarred. Your shoulders most likely ache. Your tired eyes are bound to have bags under them.

Your temper could be a bit frayed.  Your laugh can be forced. Your smile is sometimes put on.

Don't worry about it. This just shows what an amazing job you are doing keeping your little one happy and healthy.

And know this. In the eyes of your child you are absolutely beautiful. Your laugh lights up their heart. Your cuddle is the warmest, softest, safest place in the world.

So go easy on yourself mummy. No one  needs you to be perfect. Life is not a glossy magazine. It might not always feel like it, but you are amazing. You are absolutely amazing.

Adventures in Weaning

Baby B has been on his weaning adventure for a month now and it’s going well. He’s not sleeping any better or boobing any less, but it's been fun watching him experience all those taste sensations.

Dreaming of Sleep: Update 1

Writing that last sleep post was a wake-up call (LOL). It sounded dreadful. It feels dreadful. I decided it was time to take action.

I started by reading some sleep books. This was both a good and terrible idea. I’ll review the books another time but the end result was that I felt like a total failure. “It’s all my fault!” I sobbed at Long Last Dad. “I’ve accidently parented him into a needy child who will NEVER sleep by himself.” LLD gave me a big cuddle. He misses sleeping in his own comfy bed but reassured me that if B needed to sleep with me and feed all night that was what he’d have to do, and it would be ok.

Some Thoughts About Poo

Long Last Dad and I recently spent our first afternoon, together, without Baby B, since his birth. We were going to a nice restaurant to celebrate our first wedding anniversary and had arranged for the grandparents to babysit. We got dressed up, left detailed instructions for his food and naps and kissed the boy goodbye. Then panicking that he’d get hungry while I was gone I took him upstairs to have one last feed.

And that one last feed triggered the poo that had been brewing for 3 days. It was like he knew we were leaving him. He does not like to be left. He unleashed poomageddon.

Sensory Play Kit on a Budget

Our favourite class is Baby Sensory. We both really enjoy the sessions and it's also given us loads of ideas to use at home. Our sensory play box is full of ideas we have borrowed and bargains we have found in the pound shop! It's lovely watching Baby B develop different skills as he grows and it's a relief to have a go-to box of stuff for when the afternoon is dragging on and we need some entertainment.

10 Really Lovely Things and 10 Really Sucky Things About Having a Baby

Having an appreciative, adoring audience for all those off-key renditions of musicals.

Having an audience when going to the loo.

Feeling proud and in awe of all the little developments they make.

Feeling like a failure when other mums announce that their little munchkin is sleeping through the night / crawling / solving equations / whatever.

Our Breastfeeding Journey

It's easy, right? Just stick your nipple in their hungry little mouth and away you go.

HA! Don't be fooled by the paintings of the Madonna serenely feeding the baby Jesus. Or that bloody Aptamil advert with the perfect bloody mother feeding her perfect bloody baby. That is not what it's like my friends, not at all.

In reality there is wriggling, clamping, spraying, sicking up and frustrated tears - from mum and baby. Baby B was very early nicknamed the truffle pig because of all the grunting and snuffling. It really can be like feeding a wild animal. Even now that we've got it sorted at six months he likes to feed with his fingers up my nose. They never show you that in the media!

To Sleep, Perchance to Dream

Sleep - or lack of it, for all of us - is by far the hardest thing about parenting.

I just don't get it. Baby B is tired. He's fed, dry, warm, lying in a soft cot with gentle lullabies playing. We prepared with calming books and a consistent routine. But will he have a nap? Will he hell.

He just gets more tired, more annoyed, more overtired, which then makes him wild. I hate seeing him like that but I just don't know how to help him. I've tried everything the books suggest but he clearly hasn't read these books and doesn't play along. I want to parent in a gentle, responsive manner and cry it out seems so cruel to me, but while the nap battles are going on I fantasise about getting in my car, driving far away and leaving him to it.

The First Art Project

At 5 and a half months Baby B did his first art project - super cute, super easy Valentines cards. We made cards for daddy and B's best friends, and we're going to use the same idea to make Easter cards for the grandparents. They look really effective and didn't make too much mess - win!

First you need to set up. Use a large, flat plastic box. Place a piece of paper in the box so it covers the bottom and folds up the sides. Use a few blobs of Blu-tac to keep it in place. Then put a few dollops of different colour paint rounds the edges. Choose your colours depending on the theme of card you want to make. Then chuck in 3 golf balls. (I used practice balls because they were cheaper but they weren't really heavy enough and don't wipe clean so I'd use proper ones next time.)

The First Post

Six months in to motherhood I am finally starting this blog. If you have kids you'll understand why it's taken six months. If you haven't and you don't, it's best you don't ask.

They have been the most amazing, exhausting, challenging and rewarding six months of my life. I have grown so much, literally as well as metaphorically thanks to all the cake, and really discovered where my strengths and weaknesses lie. Parenthood has left me so exposed, so vulnerable, but I have discovered strength I didn't even know I had.